진심, 진실, or whatever that is

The word "truth" is big, and I feel encumbered by its obligation upon my life. Once I knew not what it meant to be living in truth nor about not living in truth, until I did something what all human beings are supposed to do - growing up or aging - regardless of one's will to do so. As I get older, my schizophrenic symptoms take a deeper root into my being; my multiple personalities fight amongst each other more often than I can put up with. Sometimes, it's pathetic. (c'est la vie. bien.) In such case, how am I supposed to tell what the truth is?

Can the truth be relative at least in the human world? Apparently so, in the world shared by Sabina and Franz. 

For Sabina, living in truth, lying neither to ourselves nor to others, was possible only away from the public: the moment someone keeps an eye on what we do, we involuntarily make allowances for that eye, and nothing we do is truthful. Having a public, keeping a public in mind, means living in lies. Sabina despised literature in which people give away all kinds of intimate secrets about themselves and their friends. A man who loses his privacy loses everything, Sabina thought. And a man who gives it up of his own free will is a monster. That was why Sabina did not suffer in the least from having to keep her love secret. On the contrary, only by doing so could she live in truth.

Franz, on the other hand, was certain that the division of life into private and public spheres is the source of all lies: a person is one thing in private and something quite different in public. For Franz, living in truth meant breaking down the barriers between the private and the public. He was fond of quoting Andre Breton on the desirability of living "in a glass house" into which everyone can look and there are no secrets.

p. 113, The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera

이상은 사비나 같은 인간 -

사람이
비밀이 없다는 것은 재산 없는 것처럼 가난하고 허전한 일이다.

실화 中

긍데, 비밀.. 피곤하지 않아? 가뜩이나 사는거 복잡한데 말이야... 흡.

"Well so far,... we've played 500 or so concerts in our lives, and  this audience has got you ranked well above number one."

How phony =_=